I Decided To Write About It After 10 Days: “Walang Basagan Ng Trip” (iBlog 8: The 8th Philippine Blogging Summit)

I had a lightbulb moment while scratching my chin, thinking of postponing my growing concern on procrastination:

“I was not procrastinating! I was just ‘greenhousing’ my ideas.”

That’s my vicious alter ego talking. We’re about to do a high five when… Nah, it’s just another excuse for not moving on a project.

But really, what does it take to be able to write about an event that happened 10 days ago?
And what would it cost me if I don’t?

Readership? Likeability? Investors? Traffic? Marketable media kit?

Wow. I have nothing to lose.

Maybe just yet. Because them, bloggers and us, wanna-bloggers were gathered into one event which shared nuggets of practical wisdom on how we can win them at

the ‘iBlog 8: The 8^th Philippine Blogging Summit on May 25-26, 2012 at the Malcolm Theater, UP College of Law, UP Diliman.
Yes, it’s FREE. The generosity of the spearheader, organizers, sponsors and attendees were heartwarming! It’s teeming with blog links, ideas and networking opportunities! Nobody was without a circle during lunch and breaks.

                                                          --------------------------------------------------------

When you mix 300 or so people in a wi-fi enabled room, you’d expect some sort of heckling, bickering, bashing and ego-tripping. I guess the first speaker (who, mind you, got just 2 hours of sleep) set the tone light, carefree and let’s-be-tolerant-here-yeah-we-got-our-own-style by leaving a short and sweet reminder. “Walang basagan ng trip!” An inside joke right there.

                                                         --------------------------------------------------------

The first day was about taking blogs to the next level. It’s targeted for bloggers, marketers, businesses and entrepreneurs wanting to understand how to tap blogs as a medium to promote their products and services to generate income. The second day was for everyone interested about blogging.

It might be interesting to know that 3.8 billion was spent on on-line advertising from June to September 2011 according to Nielsen. Mr. Carlo Ople shared about creating a ‘Media Kit’ that could give you edge when you present to PR, marketing companies and investor:

1. About the blog
2. Traffic (visitors and page views)
3. Social foot prints
4. Proposal and rates

Blog was firstly about passion, he reminded bloggers before he closed.
Hence,

Relentless Passion : Business Model =

Win!

                                                          --------------------------------------------------------

All bases were covered in two days.

SEO. Inbound Marketing. Online Branding. Social Media Traffic. Freedom of Expression. Social Change. Etiquettes. Youth Bloggers. PR. Financial Planning for Bloggers. Soul of Blogging. Politics of Blogging. Comedy Blogging. EduBlogging. Inspiration.  Narration. Advocacy. Legal Issues. Even Health.

Everything To Make Your Blog Stand Out From The Crowd!


                                                        --------------------------------------------------------

Mr. Boris Joaquin, who talked about “Bloggers, the New PR Community”, said,

“However, we are always excited to send information and photos and build relationship with new and up-and-coming blogs.”

It’s a ray of light for new talents out there.

Mr. Joaquin noted that there should be at least 100 unique daily visitors and 10k monthly viewers. And yes, comments show engagement.

                                                         --------------------------------------------------------

It’s not an event that’s debate-free.
Question and answer portion spiced up the room. But between, under, over, around and through
Ethics/Expression, Trad/New, Money/Passion, Free/Paid Domain, etc., it’s basically about Me.

Me, my core and credibility.

As Ms. Janette Toral of Digital Filipino listed, it’s for and to:

Be likeable. Be flexible. Influence. Network. Money. Deals. Support. Build brands. Opportunities. Recognition. Save lives.

With fast cycles and free, overflowing information, who can say what significance and shelf life a cyber piece like this has? Who cares?

Maybe that’s the deeper meaning of this 10-day delayed blog post.
More than ‘greenhousing’, some level of looking back was needed. This was why we have backward algorithm in decision-making. This was why we have Backtrax in MYX.

And

Hey, I just blogged this. And this is cheesy. So dear viewer, comment, maybe?

XOXO

Souvenir Shot!

How to take care of your wallet!?

Nothing ruins a wonderful day of shopping other than reaching for your pocket and realizing your leather wallet was lost and your back pocket was ripped. Desperate people with evil minds have roamed around the streets to get the money you worked very hard on. In times of poverty, despair, and misery, people will do anything to have cash for food or for drugs, maybe, we don’t know.

Thieves and snatchers usually target big places with tons of people so they will stay incognito and unnoticed.  They’re like evil ninjas but they target our hard earned pesos. I myself got a taste of these evil ninjas’ evil ways. I got my wallet filched out of my pocket without my awareness and it pissed me off.. a lot.

SO here’s some tips to take care of your beloved leather money holders.

1.       Keep your wallet in front of your pocket

Since we cannot see our own behinds and have very little sensory nerves back there its advisable to keep our wallets on our front pockets. If you sensed a  pretty brave stranger reaching out for your wallet while its on your front pocket, you have all the rights to punch that person on the throat. That would hurt and it will teach him a lesson

2.       Don't thicken up your wallet

Putting a lot of things on your wallet seems pretty usual for most people. Receipts, cards, condoms, those little things adds up as time goes by and before you know it you've got more crap on your wallet than actual money. It's become very hard to fold and will cause a bigger bulge on your pockets. Remember: that the bigger the wallet, the easier it is to see. It will act as a signal for those evil ninjas who wants your money.

Keep your wallet thin. Throw away all the receipts you don't even know why its in there,  dispose all the business cards of people you don’t even talk to and dump  that condom because you aren’t gonna get laid anyway if you got your stolen by these snatchers.

Be Alert, Be Awake.

A thief would not target a person who gives full attention to his valuables and surroundings. Keep a good posture, walk with fast enough, scan the place left to right be confident and blend in.

Its also advisable to touch the pocket which holds your wallet from time to time for the assurance of it not being stolen.

 

4.       Think like a criminal

 I will not judge any of you but if you think like a criminal it will be easier for you to take care of your valuables. Always ask yourself “If I’m a thief, how would I make this hard for myself? What if someone put this here?” Put yourself in the mindset of someone looking to snatch a wallet not to do what they do but to make it difficult for them. 

5.       Your life is more important than your wallet

 There’s a thin line between bravery and stupidity. If there’s like five guys with knives and guns just give the wallet to them. Don’t fight back unless you’re Batman.

It is more important to be safe, alive and awesome rather than to lose some money.

A Gamer's Business Proposal

Nowadays, every time you go to Divisoria or any other tiange or nearby market you probably seen the overflowing number of Angry birds merchandise which are sold in stalls, kiosks, and boutiques. These birds are in a bunch of different stuff - shirts, toys, pens, tumblers and other items that have weird cartoon of an angry bird on it. But aren’t you just getting tired of these items?

Angry birds is a game developed by Rovio which was originally an application for the iPhone and iPad and lately became a computer game too due to insistent public demand and probably because not a lot of  people can afford an overpriced smart phone. The objective of the game is to kill all the sneaky green pigs who stole the birds’ eggs by throwing a bunch of these colorful birds by a interactive slingshot. If you haven’t played this game yet, I am congratulating you.

The game gained so much fame that entrepreneurs, shirt makers and other businessmen thought that if they have items that have these birds on them it might sell and people would love it. And as we can see now, markets and stalls, even some church and of course - the one, the only Divisoria has all these items all over the place.

Amazingly, these businessmen were right. The items sold quite well. We see a bunch of people wearing colorful angry birds shirt which have very cliché taglines like, “take them down”, “up, up and away” and “drop it like its hot”. We can also see students writing with their smartly designed angry birds pen that has a sling shot and a bird at the top of it - It’s a toy, it’s a colorful stick..  No, it’s just a pen.

At first, these merchandise looks fun. Witty shirts, colorful stuff, cute birds - who wouldn’t like that, right? But time quickly killed the angry birds fever. Its becoming old and overused. Even people who haven’t even played the game yet have these items because they think its cute. In a Filipino slang, it looks so “jeje” na..

When I asked a vendor in Divisoria about the sales of the angry birds items she claimed that when these things first got out a lot of people really craved and bought it. They think its cute and colorful that’s why they keep buying these things. But lately, angry birds merchandise buyers are not showing up in their shops anymore. The items remained to be in their shops wanting to be bought.

This kind of phenomena also happened years before. Do you guys remember Plants vs. Zombies? Yeah. You  used to play that game right? Like last year yeah you remember.

There are also a bunch of people who made Plants vs. Zombies merchandise because of the game’s popularity a couple of years back. Same thing happened – it was sold, people bought it, time made it old, became over used and later on sales just went down.

Well, there’s nothing wrong with buying Angry Birds stuff but people will get tired of it easily, it will be out of fashion and later on it will be just another statement killed by the fast pace of time.

Why didn’t they make merchandise from Snake, Space Impact or Tetris? Retro games had more impact to us until now. These are the prototypes of almost all modern games.

So I’m going to make a business proposal that will blow entrepreneurs’ minds! Make merchandise with retro games theme.

Make a Sonic the Hedgehog pen, Mario tumblers, Pacman shirts or Pokemon stuff toys. That would be really cool. It will not go old easily and its more creative.

Again, there’s nothing wrong with buying Angry Birds stuff but it will become dead and old just like other time-kill, easily-finished, modern games. So let’s revive the video games that made our childhood fun and frustrating- the ones that really capture our minds and help made us solve the most ridiculous puzzles.

Kids of all ages will surely love it. It will make them curious and play these retro games that their kuyas and ates or even their parents loved as a child.

Let’s remember the time when Mario search and destroyed different castles to save his beloved Princess Peach, that annoying sound Pac-man make when he swallows pills on a maze while being chased by a bunch of weird looking multi-colored ghosts, and Link saving Hyrule and rescuing his beloved Princess Zelda which, unfortunately, friendzoned him after all his struggles. Bring back the awesome 8-bit animation and soundtracks.

So here’s for the businessmen, entrepreneurs, t-shirt makers, graphic designers and people who sell and make merchandise for a living, don’t just make stuff that will get old in just a couple of months, instead of thinking of another cliché and overused taglines for a bunch of silly birds for your shirt, try reviving the video games that really captured the heart and soul of the people who buy your stuff. Not only it will look cool, it will also give them that nostalgic flashbacks of their childhood and remember the first games that really made them angrier than those silly birds.

Kony 2012? More like Phony 2012!

On March 5, 2012, The advocacy group invisible children released a 30 minute video as part of campaign to raise awareness about Kony and his evil doings in Uganda and seek his capture. The video quickly goes viral and taken the internet by storm.

Invisible children?

Invisible children is an American NGO mainly composed of Filmmakers whose special advocacy are to inform people around the world know the chaotic world in Africa.

According to their website, “Half our work happens on the ground in Central Africa, and the other half happens in the United States.

In Central Africa, all of our programming is a partnership between Invisible Children and LRA-affected communities. We focus on long-term goals that enable children to take responsibility for their futures and the futures of their countries. Our programs are carefully developed initiatives that address the need for quality education, mentorships, the redevelopment of schools, and financial stability. In areas where the LRA is still active, we focus on civilian protection and rehabilitation.

Our work in the United States focuses on advocacy and inspiring America’s youth to “do more than just watch.” We believe that by uniting our voices we can use the systems, influence, and resources of the United States to expedite an end to the conflict.”

Who’s Joseph Kony and what in the world is the LRA?

Joseph Kony, a Ugandan Born leader of the Lord's Resistance Army. The video KONY 2012 by Invisible Children alleges the rebel group of kidnapping, rape and slavery of the children in Uganda. The boys are given guns and trained to fight against their own will.  The girls are turned into sex slaves

According to Discovery News, since he was indicted for war crimes by the International Criminal Court in 2005 on 33 charges including murder, enslavement, rape, pillaging, and forced fighting, he has left Uganda for the bush; his whereabouts are unknown. The LRA now operates in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, South Sudan, and the Central African Republic, and may now number in the hundreds.

The Lord’s Resistance Army began life in the early 1980’s as the Holy Spirit Movement, led by a woman called Alice Lakwena who claimed the Holy Spirit had ordered her to overthrow the Ugandan government, which was accused of treating the Acholi people of the North unfairly. As resentment towards the Ugandan government intensified, supporters flocked to Lakwena and the Holy Spirit movement gathered momentum, until a battle won by the government led to Lakwena’s exile.

With no clear direction for the movement, a man claiming to be Lakwena’s cousin, Joseph Kony, took over as leader and rebranded the movement in 1986 as the Lord’s Resistance Army. Kony initially stated that the LRA’s mission was to overthrow `the government and rule Uganda based on the Ten Commandments. He rapidly lost support, however, and in frustration Kony began abducting thousands of children to swell its ranks, turning them into killers and unleashing them on villages.

The LRA, a sectarian religious and military group that has operated in northern Uganda and Southern Sudan since 1987. They have since spread their operations in the Democratic Republic of Congo and the Central African Republic. The U.S. Treasury has Kony on its list of “Specially Designated Global Terrorists.”

Make Kony Famous?

The Kony 2012 goal is to increase awareness of Kony - make him famous. As they said on the video "not to celebrate him, but to raise support for his arrest and set a precedent for international justice"

As Jason Russell says that less than one percent of the world knows who Joseph Kony is. If people knew what he had done the American people and the whole world would lead them to do some action.

“The dream would be for Kony to be captured, not killed, and brought to the International Criminal Court to face trial

"The world would know about his crimes and they would watch the trial play out on an international level, seeing a man face justice who got away with abducting children, raping little girls, and mutilating people's faces for 26 years," says Russell.

The American government would send troops in Uganda and assist the Ugandan army in capturing the notorious leader.

The goal of KONY 2012 is for the world to unite to see Kony arrested and prosecuted for his crimes against humanity.

Judel Arugay's Views

It’s funny how my friends and other people suddenly turned into social activists after they watched the Kony 2012 video. In a drop of a hat they cared about these poor abducted kids in Africa and sickened by this Joseph Kony guy. And now they think they’re doing something good and helping by sharing this 30 minute, well-edited, brilliantly explained video by Invisible Children. 

Well, guess what? The internet is mightier and more powerful than they thought it will be. The medium that made it famous is also the thing that will destroy this scam!

Yes, it is a scam. And people from the internet, including me, quickly figured it all out.

People who made this documentary pockets 8 million dollars - 30% goes to Africa and 70% on their wallets.

America wants Africa’s Resources!

Kony 2012 has nothing to do with saving children, nothing to do with getting rid of a warlord, its about getting Africa’s resources. What does Africa got? Oil, Minerals and whole lot of resources and America wants it.

Do you guys really think America can just go to Africa and arrest one warlord? There are thousands of other warlords in Africa more brutal than Kony! Why don’t they show this?

Don’t get me wrong, Joseph Kony is not a good man. What he did to Ugandan children is just disgusting and evil. But do you know that the video is made from 2003? That was nine years ago when Joseph Kony is still strong and in the height of his power. Now he's in an African Rainforest not doing anything and just holding on for dear life. There are even rumors that he is now dead. So what the hell are these American troops doing in Africa if Kony is not a threat anymore? Military intervention seems to be America's solution to problems that have little or nothing to do with them.

And look closely, KONY 2012 is pro-war propaganda film. Do you guys really like another war? Are you freaking crazy? Sending US troops to Uganda for what? Get their resources, have their oil, WAKE UP AMERICA! Don’t make this country turn into another Middle east. It doesn’t work! Its stupid, racist, and pro-war. READ A BOOK! USE YOUR COMMON SENSE!

Here's a video of a ugandan girl talking about this brilliant Kony 2012 scam.

Here are some articles and videos from other people regarding this issue.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/africaandindianocean/uganda/9131469/Joseph-Kony-2012-growing-outrage-in-Uganda-over-film.html 

http://visiblechildren.tumblr.com/post/18890947431/we-got-trouble 

http://justiceinconflict.org/2012/03/07/taking-kony-2012-down-a-notch/ 

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/26/world/africa/uganda-welcomes-oil-but-fears-graft-it-attracts.html?_r=1 

A Museum of Broken Relationships

Just before the love month say ta-ta!,  and while wondering about the number of ladies that flew to Dublin today, I stumbled upon an interesting article about love, upside down. Read on...

What becomes of a garden gnome hurled in fury at a car during a stormy breakup?
Or a teddy bear that was once a Valentine's Day present? A wedding dress from a marriage gone awry? An ax that smashed through household furnitures?

All are on display at the museum of Broken Relationships in the Croatian capital, each with written testimonies telling tales of passion, romance and heartbreak.

 On Valentine's Day, the museum sees its visits almost double.

"The objects that are here represent all the stages of a breakup... and how people go through love," said Drazen Grubisic, a designer and artist who cofounded the museum in 2010 in the Croatian capital.

"We might say it's love museum, just upside down," he said.

The mementos - collected from all over the world - are random and varied, ranging from fake rubber breasts to a cast from a broken leg. Each items come with dates and locations of the relationships, and notes by their anonymous donors.

Some are funny. The note next to a garter belt says: "I never put them on. The relationship might have lasted long if I had."

Some are bitter. The garden gnome flew over a car driven by a husband who turned "arrogant and heartless." It bounced on the asphalt, shattering its face.

"It was a long loop, drawing an arc of time... that defined the end of love," the note from Slovenia said.

An ax from Berlin was used by a woman to smash every piece of furniture her girlfriend had left behind.

"The more the room filled with chopped furniture, (the more) I felt better."

The text by a blue frisbee reads: "Darling, should you ever get a ridiculous idea to walk into a cultural institution like a museum for the first time in your life, you'll remember me."

The museum, located just across from Zagreb's City Hall where couples get married, currently displays some 100 "relics" out of about 1,000 that have been collected from around the world.

Parts of the collection have traveled as far as Manila, London and Singapore to be put on display. In each city, the heartbroken can donate their stuff to the Zagreb museum. 

A prosthetic leg currently showcased in England at the National Centre for Craft and Design , was donated by a war veteran who fell in love with his physical therapist.

A note says it lasted longer than the relationship because it was made of "sturdier material."

The museum itself is the brainchild of a breakup. When Grubisic and cofounder Olinka Vistica, a filmmaker, split up, they got stuck when it came to dividing their sentimental memorabilia. They didn't want to just get rid of it, so they created a museum.

"Maybe sometime in your life you will want to remember some of the good parts of the relationship," Grubisic said.

He said that donors of mementos find the giving therapeutic.

"They can move on," he said. "They also show there's something universal: We all have been brokenhearted at least once."

 

- AP, Philippine Daily Inquirer, February 15, 2012. Images from Google Image.

Cosplay What? I know. Haha!

Up to now, I do not have interest for Cosplays (whether Japanese of Korean). Pardon me cosplayers and enthusiasts.

Oh well, just days ago, I was booked to shoot for a Cosplay. 4 cosplayers.

What my mind told me: "Hay nako. Cosplay yan. Wala ako gaano alam jan no. Kunin ang booking sa shoot o hindi? Okay, sige, sayang... kunin ko na. (sarcastic)."

What the --- I literally freaked with excitement and enthusiasm!

I know not much about cosplays, but I know much about lighting.

Cosplays are just becoming so in this year ( I just realized now).

Shooting fashion is one of my interests in the field of photography. So interesting!

Fashion photographers are in demand these days, and so cosplay photographers too. I realized once again. I enjoy shooting, and so my clients too. I am glad and empowered! :)

Above is my friend Ate Den! She is the one who personally chose me to photoshoot. So happy I had their trust : )

Book now your shoot!

View my photoblog here.

Power!:)

What Do You Do? Turned 360 Degrees.

Few days ago, I found this on my Facebook news feed and thought it’s hilarious! \m/

What do you do? We usually ask people to start a conversation.

What pictures are they seeing, you think, when you share what wakes you up in the a.m.and keeps you up at night?

This site found a blithesome (annoying to some) way to go around the perspective 360 degrees, to see:

what your friends think you do; 

what your parents thinks you do; 

what society thinks you do; 

what your boss thinks you do; 

what you think you do;

what you actually do

After few minutes and few memes other versions appeared on my news feed too... Talk about viral!

 

 

Netizens keep on foraging these True story/You don’t say/Seems Legit-provoking-comments photos and one can create her very own version too!

 

How to Make "This Is What I Think I Do" Image, Step by Step:

STOP: Bourne Legacy

The shooting of Bourne Legacy in the country hits the attention of both the foreign film production and the Filipinos. BL finds Filipinos accommodating, helpful and fun; Filipinos "wowwed" seeing the foreigners and the thought that the production team considered the country as their spot --  a big deal for most Filipinos.

BL trended on TV too. TV Patrol and 24 Oras reported parts of their scoops - main casts and siyempre the Pinoy "extras".

BL invades the streets! They caused much traffic congestion in Metro Manila. Motorists gone mad.

BL is strict to outsiders. I spotted their shooting somewhere in Quezon Ave., to  my surprise, I alight the cab, and took out my camera. I ran near the shooting location but the guards stopped me.

Guard:                  Boss, dito lang sa labas mag-picture, hindi na doon mismo
Turning Point1:    Kailangan lang mai-blog e, sige na..
Guard:                 Hindi talaga pwede sir, e. Bawal po talaga. Pagagalitan kami.
                             Pasensya na.
Turning Point 1:    Ok >:/
Turning Point 2:    --Troll face--

NEXT STOP: PUP

PLONK! My Facebook page just updated the news feed. Saw my PUPian friend's post about BL's shoot in PUP main campus. I was like "wow". She was like "yes, it's real." But now that I experienced their policy, I do not event think of going there since I know what will happen na naman e.Wachatink?

PARKING: But as I experienced, it's nakaka-excite 'pag nasa harap mo na ang shooting. It was odd. It was exciting. Actually it did not appear so interesting for PUPians (I think), instead they are jumping up and down for the...
Student Advisory: WALANG PASOK. Eh Valentine's... You connect the dots. Tehehehe...

525,600 mins.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes... this famous and LSS-istic song -- Seasons of Love by Rent is such an in song for this month!

Top picks this season? Never been a problem. TV programs always come to the rescue. Rated K, Kapuso mo, and Jessica Soho are top TV programs that tackle seasonal topics such as Valentine's. Just watch them and you won't be bored and bitter. Each of their segment shows romantic places, top picks, resto, the work..

This season is  not   for everyone. Have a trip with your family, your lovie-dovie, bhe, baby, sweetie-pie, darling, hon, honey, mine, poochu-poochu, whatever monicker. Go out. Dates need not put a hole on your pocket to be romantic, just the right "diskarte" will be so bongga na!

It was so fun I went to places I did not expect to be romantic this month:

 

First, the University of Sto. Tomas. I just accompanied my friend for her power-dressing talk. UST has such a romantic ambiance. The trees, the wind, the people, the old building, the grass, the open area, the benches... ahh, simply romantic.

Clark, Pampanga I went there with my friends to shoot for the 17th Hot Air Balloon Feast. Goodness! I did not expect that open area to be good for vacation and family trips! It was my first time there, so I expected the hot air balloon event to be exciting. For only 200 pesos entrance fee, you can enjoy lots of trigger-happy pictures there, watch the balloon feast, feel the sunlight, feel the breeze... simply romantic for couples who enjoy shooting, tripping, and walking. :)



5am. Dizzy. Waiting for Hot Air Balloon Feast.





Just started. Enjoyed shooting with Ultrawide lens. Feels good.:)



HAB more!:)





Almost 24 hours awake. Gotta be home very very soon. Enjoyed a lot with my friends.:)

What You Feel, You Can Heal: Love, the FYI Approach...

With some people, you prove your love once, you prove it forever.
With some, you have to prove it everyday.
There are many ways we show love. Similarly, there are particular ways we wish to receive it.


Have you experienced loving someone (not always and necessarily in the romantic sense) with all your best intentions and when you let him/her know, s/he shut her/his door at you? Well, you might be speaking in Greek, and the person in Latin. In this Age where most information are readily accessible to us, there's high chance we can be fluent in this fantastic, enigmatic, I-bet-you-have-your-own-definition-to-it, thing called LOVE.
Just goofing around the net, you can find one. I actually find something hmmm... interesting.


Surfing for and about love is heartwarming. And let's also hear what the paperbacks have to say...
While scanning some books in the bookshelf, I flipped through "What You Feel You Can Heal: How To Overcome Fear of Intimacy by John Gray" and this one shot through the heart...

            "REPRESSED FEARS MAY MOTIVATE US TO AVOID MEETING PEOPLE                                                                  THAT COULD LOVE US."

       HOW ARE YOU HIDING YOURSELF?

1. THE PERFORMER

This person was given a lot of love for performing and excelling as a child. Performance is the assumed condition for love and recognition. He is always trying to measure up to the expectations of others and many times self-imposes even higher expectations. He always feels pressured and driven to achieve and there is no time for rest. He cannot tolerate weakness or stupidity in himself or others and tends also to be very critical.

"The Performer feels pressured to measure up. For him there is no rest; he feels driven to achieve and perform.
The Performer needs to relax more and discover that he can be loved even when he is not performing."


Secretly, the Performer feels he can never be good enough, since there is always room for more growth. This type may become very attached to people and positions, since a secret fear of rejection or abandonment motivates his behavior. He generally feels responsible for everything.


The Performer needs to relax more and discover that he can be loved even when he is not performing. Take more vacations and read romantic novels. Give yourself a break - the high blood pressure isn't worth it.

2. THE CRITIC

The Critic is preoccupied with finding, pointing out and talking about the faults of others. He rejoices in criticizing and belittling those around him. He may hate part of himself, projecting that quality onto others and then becoming extremely critical and judgmental of them. Whenever he is afraid of being judged, he is quick to retaliate with a string of judgments, often sarcastic in nature. For him, the best defense is a strong and critical offense. The critic is obsessed with changing or even punishing others in a subconscious attempt to change himself. He is able to soothe his own feelings of inadequacy by proving the shortcomings of others.

If you have these traits, try to begin seeing yourself in all those that you judge and criticize. Imagine yourself in their footsteps - look for a way in which you are like them. Then forgive yourself and forgive them for not being perfect. Just as you are good at finding reasons to separate, try finding reasons to feel connected to others.

"What the critic hates about himself, he will find and criticize in others".

3. THE BOASTER

This person compensates for low self-esteem by always exaggerating the truth and bragging. While growing up, he learned that to get attention he had to dramatize and enlarge the truth. The Boaster doesn't plan to lie - it happens automatically. Even if the real truth is worthy of attention, he must enlarge it.

"The Boaster has learned to get attention by dramatizing and exaggerating the truth.
The Boaster must practice being accurate in what he says and learn that others will still love him."

Deep inside, the Boaster feels he is not good enough to warrant love and attention. He feels the truth is never enough for him to achieve the recognition he needs in his own eyes and in the eyes of others, so he stretches the truth.
The Boaster can never trust the love of others, for deep inside he knows he is lying. The closer people get, the more secretive and defensive he becomes. And the more he boasts, the less he trusts the attention and appreciation he gets.


The Boaster must practice being accurate in what he says. He should find someone who truly does care for him and share with that person all the lies and pretenses he can remember and see that he can be loved for who he really is. The Boaster must learn to trust again, both himself and others. He needs consistent and honest feedback. To be easy on him is not doing him any service.

4. THE VICTIM

This person was generally hurt very deeply at a young age and got a lot of sympathy. The Victim feels unworthy of love and support unless it is preceded by a great mishap or tragedy, or at least the telling of some past tragedy. Whenever something bad happens to a Victim, you can be sure his story gets a lot of mileage. If you are getting a lot of love, attention and sympathy by telling your Victim stories, watch out - you are reinforcing a pattern of getting love through experiencing and communicating about pain and suffering. So if your stories get old and you want some love, presto! You will create a new dramatic tragedy. You might even use getting sick as a way of getting more love.

"Whenever something bad happens to a Victim, you can be sure his story gets a lot of mileage.
Victims must learn to develop their power by taking responsibility, expressing their anger and then forgiveness."

The Victim usually feels powerless in life and tries to control people by making them feel guilty. He refuses to take responsibility for his life, so, quite subconsciously, others get such into trying to please the Victim and make him happy. The Victim must learn to develop his own personal power through taking responsibility for his life. He must resolve his stored-up, repressed anger and practice forgiving others.

5. THE NICE PERSON


This person is always good-tempered, cheerful and very agreeable. He makes a great friend and generally has a lot of friends and acquaintances. The Nice Person learned early in life that compliance brings a reward, a smile or an embrace. He submits to every rule and regulation with mechanical precision. He is always doing what he "should" be doing, intent on pleasing others, saying "yes" to everyone. The Nice Person never gets angry, but learns to accept and adapt to every situation. He never rocks the boat.

"The Nice Person needs to practice saying "no" and meaning it."

On the surface, the Nice Person is happy and content to be a part of the group, but inside he is empty and alone. He is very afraid of being himself, for to do what he wants means risking disapproval. So, he has lost touch with what he really wants and who he really is. He has done everything right and according to the rules, but secretly feels controlled and cheated, lifeless and bored.The Nice Person is trapped - he can never really open up because others would find out he is really not so nice. By being nice, he has successfully repressed his own special uniqueness and has become a non-person.
The Nice Person needs to practice saying "no" and meaning it. He needs to learn to express his anger. He must risk showing the not-so-nice person inside and see that not only will others still love him but that they may even feel closer to him because now he is more real.

6. THE SELF-RIGHTEOUS PERSON

This person has learned that if he is wrong, people will not love him and consider him bad. In order to get love, he attempts to be right at all costs. He can never admit that he is wrong, for to confess his faults and failures would mean the loss of love and would be very painful to him. The Self-righteous Person often tries to make others wrong in order to be right himself. He has a rational excuse for everything he does. He could even become a great teacher. But don't try to have an argument with the Self-righteous Person because it will sound more like he is lecturing you on why you are wrong and he is right.

"The Self-righteous Person can never admit that he is wrong, for to confess his faults and failures could mean the loss of love."

The Self-righteous Person needs to start practice saying: "I'm sorry," whenever he makes a mistake, even when he has a great excuse. Rationalization and justification are favorite ways of avoiding feelings, especially the feeling of guilt. This person needs to learn that others will love him, even if he is wrong or makes a mistake.

7. THE ANGRY PERSON

This person walks around with a chip on his shoulder. For him, anger is a protection; it is a roar to scare away adversity. The Angry Person feels an inner inadequacy and is always trying to protect himself. To compensate for that feeling of inadequacy, he refuses to be adequately satisfied by the outer world. Nothing can please him. He projects his own inadequacy everywhere, hence feeling frustrated and bitter towards the world.

"The Angry Person feels ripped off by life and is constantly trying to get even."

He gets angry at the drop of a hat and remembers every injustice he has ever experienced. He delights in the shortcomings and failings of others and thus becomes overly competitive.


The Angry Person is stuck in feelings of anger and blame as a cover-up for his own feelings of inadequacy and hurt. He must learn that he still deserves love even if he is inadequate in certain areas. Through loving and forgiving others, he will learn to truly love and forgive himself.

8. THE FAKE

"This person has played so many roles that he doesn't know who he is anymore. Behind every mask is another."

He is always acting according to how others will receive him. The Fake will not risk controversy. He is an expert at impressing others in order to be liked. He plays the roles he thinks others want him to play and in the process becomes a hypocrite and fraud.


The Fake probably never felt appreciated for being himself while growing up, so he decided that in order to get love, he had to be someone else, whomever others wanted him to be. Unfortunately, he can never trust anyone's love or appreciation, because deep inside he knows he is a fake and that others don't know who he really is.

9. THE BELIEVER

This person has become so dependent on others for truth that he doesn't believe his own feelings. He learned growing up that to receive love, he merely has to agree and believe what others tell him. If you have a common belief, then the Believer is your friend, and if you contradict his belief, you are his enemy. The believer loves to give away his own power and responsibility to others who can solve his problems for him. He expects you to love him because he agrees with you. If you disappoint the Believer's unrealistic expectations, he will withdraw his love and support.

"The Believer has never gotten over the fact that his parents were not perfect. He always has high hopes, but is inevitably let down by others, and will continue to be until he starts to believe in himself."

The Believer must learn to take responsibility for his own life and forgive all the people who have let him down. He should question all he believes, and relate it to his own personal experience. The Believer needs to trust his own feelings, instincts and choices and look to himself as the source of power and wisdom in his life.

10. THE SHY PERSON


This person's basic reaction to other people is fear. He fears their criticism, he fears their evaluation of him as a failure and he fears their inevitable rejection in the end. The Shy Person has little confidence that he is lovable to others. He has been taught that people will only accept him under certain conditions and if those conditions aren't present, he fears rejection.

"He may be an incredible musician or performer on stage, but offstage he becomes shy and insecure."

The Shy Person must learn to take risks. He should practice visualizing a risk and then act it out, gradually building up more confidence in himself and dispelling his fear of others. He needs to come out more and learn to trust himself and others again.

11. THE SHOW-OFF

The Show-off believes what he does or possesses will make up for what he fails to be himself. He seeks to compensate for his own lack of self-esteem by owning big things, hoping this will attract the attention and recognition he desperately needs. To the Show-off, money is the symbol of love, but tries to buy it. He is unable to share his feelings directly, but does so by giving or withholding presents and material possessions.

"Unfortunately, the Show-off never feels worthy of the love he does receive, because he knows he is being loved for his achievements and possessions and not for being himself. He often feels used and unappreciated."

The Show-off needs to practice sharing his feelings and allowing others to see who he is inside. He needs to work on his inner self-image and relax his outer image. Then he will learn that he can be loved for who he is and not for what he has or what he does.

12. THE LONER


This person is always proving that he doesn't need others. At some point while growing up, he didn't get the love and recognition he wanted, so he decided he didn't need it. The Loner has learned to become self-sufficient. Inside, he is an incredibly sensitive and caring spirit who has been hurt too many times. He has learned to "care less". to be detached from his feelings, for to feel them would be too painful.


The Loner feels guilty for needing so much love and thus he denies his needs. "I can do it alone," he proudly proclaims. "I don't need you." Because he doesn't express his needs clearly, he is continually disappointed and hurt in relationships. He will also resent feeling obligated to satisfy his partner's needs, just as he resents having his own needs. To the Loner, needs are a sign of weakness.

"The easiest choice for the Loner is to just avoid relationships and live alone. The more he feels his needs, the more he will separate and retreat, thus pushing out the very love he needs so desperately."

The Loner must learn to share his needs and to show his hurt and tears. He should reveal to others all of his secret expectations and disappointments. Whenever he starts to sulk and retreat, he should find someone he cares about and shares his feelings. The Loner needs to learn that need is not a dirty word and to find people in life who can fulfill his needs for love and appreciation.

13. THE SACRIFICER

This person learned that to love means to sacrifice or to give up for another. Probably while growing up, the Sacrificer's parents never let him forget how much they sacrificed and how they expected the same from him. For him, loving is a tiresome matter because to show his love, he must always do what he prefers not to do, or give up what he wants to keep.


The Sacrificer can never be what he wants to be, for that would be too selfish. For him, selfless giving is not giving with no strings attached, but it is a giving up or self-denial with a definite expectation of receiving the same in return. 

"The Sacrificer expects the recipient of his love to return his gift of love through an equally painful sacrifice. 'I suffered for you, so you suffer for me.' For him, suffering is a virtue and is symbolic of true love."

The Sacrificer must learn to lighten up the heavy load he has placed on love and relationships. He needs to heal built-up repressed anger and resentment towards his parents and others and to forgive them for laying a "heavy guilt trip" on him. The Sacrificer needs to learn to give love freely without expecting equal sacrifice in return, and at the same time, he must remember not to give up his own needs and desires all the time.

Remember: Until you are aware of what you are doing, you have no choice but to continue doing it.

HAPPY HEARTS DAY!
Remember to say, write, dance, sing "I LOVE YOU" to people you care about.

image from F1C International's Library